Too scared to say the words worth saying.

Too scared to do the actions worth doing.

A while ago, I re-read my diary and found these quotations.

It’s really worth it, you know. Writing every once in a while in a journal. When you look back to it in the future, you’ll remember what made you who you are today.

Writing gives voice to a different side of you. I’m not a very dramatic person in real life. I prefer the easy-breezy life while projecting the happy-go-lucky disposition.

I’m not saying I’m against sentiments & drama (we need those). I’m just not a fan of it.

But when no one’s around…certain thoughts or invocations just pop out of nowhere. And if you don’t write it down you might forever lose them. I mean. Come on. Your pen can’t judge you. A piece of paper can’t criticize you for it.

You can be whoever you want to be when you’re writing. Even if it’s just for a while.

I really think you should go buy a notebook and start writing. =) That’s all I’m saying.

Because sometimes, I do.

And being self-effacing and self-deprecating.

It’s a tiring thing to do.

(Source: thatcrazyrockstar)

I honestly don’t know how to feel about that.

A couple of months ago, I was really really looking forward to this day. I passed my dream school and all I could think of is the moment I will be sitting in a classroom there and therefore exorcise the right to call myself a “college” student. 

An idea that had seemed so blissful and relieving that time suddenly seems so deceiving. I expect that that freedom in college won’t come without tears and good-byes.

So….   :(

I’ve been in my current school for 10 years. 

Nakakasawa na, nakakasakal na. Pero parang napamahal na din ako e.

Kaibigan ko sa school at simbahan. Pinsan ko. Daddy ko! Like WTF people. OK. OKAY. WALA AKONG GUSTO KAHIT KANINO. TAPOSSS??? Magmamadre na kagad? Tandang dalaga kagad?

DI BA PWEDENG SABIHING 15 PA LANG AKO MGA TSONG?

Like HAHAHAHAHHAHA.

While I had my headphones on. In full volume. And I was singing along.

But secretly, I’m thinking: I’m sorry, Dad.

Magsisisi ka lang.

Ang gulo talaga ng love. Kung kelan ka nag-expect, noon ka wala natanggap. Nung di naman nagexpect, dun ka bibigyan. Yan tuloy, in the end, WALA KA NAKUHA.

Nakakatawa minsan. Pero totoo to.

I’ve realized this when two of my guy classmates walked through the door at the same time. They both look okay. Had their own assets and all that.

But the other looked a lot better. He held his head high, his shoulders aback. And his expression was resolved. My classmate saw him and she said, Wow. When did he get hot?

When  the second guy came in with a ridiculous expression, slouched shoulders and a quirky walk—we laughed. He looked so…well. Ugly is too harsh. But not exactly a lie. -.-

The point is: Be confident.

(Source: thatcrazyrockstar)

Why am I so self-conscious? I don’t want to look in a mirror anymore. I don’t want to move around that much. Speaking? OKAY. Singing? OKAY. But dancing and standing? NO WAY. I hate anything that involves people looking at my body. :/ I feel fat…though I’m not really that fat. Yet, anyway.

This is bullshit. And I’m tired of it. When girls say they want to go on a diet, they don’t do it for others or for guys. THEY DO IT FOR THEMSELVES.

(Source: thatcrazyrockstar)

There so many random people here (mostly us awesome girls and those smartass guys). And someone would always be willing to talk to you.:D

Facebook and Twitter…they’re so different. (I’m sorry I’ve only realized this now). They’re so different from tumblr.

I just feel sad. Violated, even. I hear people— ordinary people talking about reading a specific article from tumblr or reblogging this hot picture of a dude from tumblr.

LIKE OH NO OUR HIDDEN PARADISE IS NOW UTTERLY EXPOSED.

(Source: thatcrazyrockstar)

I don’t effin care if I’m in love or not. If I’m single or not.

I’m happy with my friends. Both GUYS and GIRLS. I like being close to guys knowing fully well that nothing “fairytale” or “chick flicky” thing will happen between us. I like laughing in a carefree manner with my girl friends and listening to their love life problems—where I eventually get my inspiration for the love stories I write. XD

I can’t believe I thought for once that I was lonely. >:D

(Source: thatcrazyrockstar)

I WILL MISS YOU.

I’m not that kind of person.

He can post pictures with the prettiest girl in the world and make me feel insecure about how I look. He can go on wishing the girl he loves the sweetest happy birthday and slowly crush my hopes of ever finding a guy like him. He can go busy all day and wish my good night at eleven o’ clock when I’m not unli and make me realize that he doesn’t really want to talk to me anymore.

And it’d be okay.

Because at the end of the day, I’m still a sucker for happy endings.

Even if it’s not with me. :’)

And when it happens for the 2nd time, you’ll realize there’s just too many pieces and no one’s patching them up.

(Source: thatcrazyrockstar)